1.29.2010

i had to



'don't think about tomorrow', some cheese someone said that time, whenever, whatever, live for today and shit. that was what he had been thinking in the moments before it happened, and quite possibly what he'd been rehashing during every prior mistake he'd made in his short life.

'live for today.'

it very well might have been the worst advice ever given, but partially because of its popularity as a phrase, and mostly due to his own inner glow of certainty such exaggerations tended to induce, he felt positive about this decision.

'yeah thats right, live for today, i can do that. what's tomorrow anyway?' he wondered.

and then he wondered to who he was constantly wondering, as he seemed to feel there could be some sort of response. a sign. an answer.

'this is what men do. i've got to be a man about this.'

the old phrase came to mind followed by a quick memory of a moment with the man who had planted him deep inside of his mother:

'be a man son,' always smiling, though. 'put your chin up, be a man.'

the warmth came again, along with the certainty. it must be right. this is what men do.


she was climbing to the top of the slide when she felt his eyes resting intensely upon her. if she had lived to tell you, she would have you know that this feeling was no kind of metaphor. she actually felt them; a feeling for which there were no words, just a sort of knowing.

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